You Might Be a Spammer If…

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Redneck “comedian” (I use that term very loosely) Jeff Foxworthy has a bit in his act where he says “You might be a redneck if…” followed by some silly thing that rednecks do (e.g. you own a boat that hasn’t left the driveway in 15 years). While I never could tolerate Jeff Foxworthy or the mouthbreathers down here who insisted on repeating his jokes every 2 seconds, I am going to do a take on his popular bit.

So, without further ado, I present you with:

You might be a spammer if…


  • Your commercial emails don’t have an opt-out link.
  • You’ve never heard of the CAN-SPAM Act.
  • You have 500,000 followers on Twitter, but nobody knows who the hell you are.
  • You leave short, meaningless comments on other blogs with a keyword as your name.
  • You bought your list of email subscribers.
  • You send emails that have nothing to do with the recipients’ interests.
  • You only view social media sites as sources of more hits for your website.
  • You have to change email service providers regularly due to getting flagged as a spammer.
  • You’re pitching diet pills, male enhancement products, or info on getting rich quick.
  • Your Twitter avatar is one of the following: default avatar or a picture of a scantily-clad chick.


Okay, it’s your turn to play now. Leave a comment with your own “You might be a spammer if…”


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