Does Your Copy Stumble Out Of The Starting Block?

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One of the biggest copywriting mistakes you can make is to get your copy off to a bad start. If you don’t hook the customer right away, they’re not going to keep reading forward. There’s no time to get warmed up. You have to come off the starting block quickly and smoothly.

Here’s an example of what I mean. You’ve probably come across copy that reads like the following:

 

Cosmetic Dentistry Services

ABC Cosmetic Dentistry has been serving the Houston community since 1990. We offer a full range of cosmetic dentistry services, including teeth whitening, dental implants, and porcelain crowns and bridges. You’ll get the beautiful smile you’ve always wanted, helping you be more confident as you look your very best. And with our advanced technology, you can see results in just one office visit.

 

What’s wrong with this copy? It takes too long to get to the important stuff—the true benefits customers care about. Sure, it’s necessary to mention that the office has experience and to detail some of the services offered, but that’s not what’s going to suck readers in and get them excited.

The important part of that opening paragraph is at the end: “You’ll get the beautiful smile you’ve always wanted, helping you be more confident as you look your very best. And with our advanced technology, you can see results in just one office visit.

The copy should lead off with those points. Here’s an example of a reworked version that is more effective.

 

Get the Confident, Beautiful Smile You Deserve

Are you tired of hiding your smile because you’re unhappy with your teeth? A beautiful smile increases your confidence and self-image. With just one office visit to ABC Cosmetic Dentistry, you can get the smile you’ve always wanted. For more than 20 years, we’ve helped Houstonians smile confidently with our cosmetic dentistry services. Whether you need to brighten your smile with our teeth whitening solutions or you have a broken tooth that needs to be replaced, we’ll give your smile the care and attention it deserves.

 

The difference is that this reworked version addresses the needs of the readers’ right away. It gives them something they can relate to, causing them to get sucked in and keep reading.

When writing copy, you have to start with the most important information. If you don’t get to the point, you’ll lose readers and never get more sales.

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